Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: Britney Spears

Written by: Tony
Edited by: Tony


Plot:

The Soul Patrol easily capture Britney Spears for the Auctioneer's market. Richard Wright continues to contemplate the possibility of going public, and catching up on his celebrity DONE! list. The Auctioneer sells Britney, claiming the "baggage" she brings with her has value.


Creator Comments:

"I love how Britney is so ditzy in this story, and Lufti is such a myopic jerk."


Character Appearances:

Sean
Maria
Sam Lufti
Britney Spears
Rose
Richard Wright
The Auctioneer

Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: The Rocket

Written by: Tony Vahl
Edited by: Tony Vahl and Damian Hospital


Plot

The Rocket is officially stamped DONE! by Richard Wright. After discussing the situation with the Auctioneer, Richard sends out Eva, Rose, and Sean to go out and capture the seven-time Cy Young winner.

After a relatively simple take-down involving Eva playing a masseuse, the Rocket is "Debriefed" by the Auctioneer and put up for bid in Dallas, Texas.


Creators' Comments

Tony: "It was time. Damian and I have joked about the Soul Patrol taking down famous celebrities who had clearly lost 'It,' or jumped the shark permanently. After reading about Clemens developing a friendship with Mindy McCready when she was 15-years-old, I realized that he was the perfect fodder for the first Celebrity Soul Patrol story!"


Memorable Quotes

"No you're not." -- Roger Clemens

"What about the internet? Our takedown won't be buried on the newsgroups anymore." -- Richard Wright

"This man's future is in your control. Do you want him to pitch again? No problem! Would you like to embarrass ole' Roger? It can be arranged!" -- The Auctioneer


Character Appearances

Richard Wright
The Auctioneer
Roger "The Rocket" Clemens
Eva Reichensteiner
Rose
Sean Brown