I was in kindergarten, aged 5 or 6. The catch: I had my mind and intelligence from today. I had realized I had died was reborn and living my life over again. Mrs. Betty Bush was my teacher, and she asked a question to the class. Hands went up, and a classmate had issues answering it, but of course, I knew the answer: not only did I have my 2009 intelligence, but I also had the benefit of remembering this day. I fantasized at how well I would do in school the second time.
Then I fantasized about changing my life for the better. In this dream, I had committed a serious crime in 1996, so I told myself I would avoid it to prevent the financial strain, lack of degree (I had got kicked out of college in this dream), more money in the bank, better security, and a better job.
Then it hit me.
And I cried.
Any change- no matter how slight, would jeopardize the events leading up to the exact day that I first met my wife, whom I love unconditionally. She is innocent, uncorrupted by the filth and dark world we live in, and she accepts all of my flaws, but still retains her own independent personality separate from my own. If I tried to tamper with the timeline, I would lose her.
And I felt a deep loss.
I realized I had to replay my life and follow the script to the tee, and just react normally as I did in my first time through- complete with my irrational decisions and skewed feelings from my teenage years.
In my mind, sitting in that Brooklyn, NY classroom, I stepped through all the possible scenarios: there was no way for me to wait until late 2005 to meet my wife again if I didn’t commit my crime in 1996. Too many things would have changed, with NO guarantee that things would have ended up better. Many times people make the fatal conclusion- if something happened differently, things would automatically turn out better. But I knew better.
I fast forwarded my life to 1996 to the now-famous scene of the crime I had committed (in the dream). Watching myself do it, I saw a smile as I committed the act. And now here is the retcon (retroactive continuity of history)- I smiled because I knew I would be with my wife in the future.
So I always knew. I made a pact with myself after rebirth to do it all again to be with my soul mate, someone who I love deeply. And I had no regrets.
In the dream, my wife shook me because she heard me crying. We were sleeping in my childhood bed in Brooklyn. She felt the tears on my face, and held me. I told her everything was okay- I didn’t want to let her in on the details of the sacrifice or that I almost experienced a timeline where I chose my materialistic selfishness over true love, so I tried to hide my crying, but I couldn’t.
Still in the dream sequence, (a dream within a dream) I lie in my bed in Brooklyn at night with my wife by my side, salt tears on my cheeks, and the secret of the universe hit me: similar to me controlling my own dreams, I also controlled all of the events in my life, similar to Dr. Manhattan’s perspective of the time-line. In the dream I rationalized that I made a deal before rebirth where I accepted that nothing could be changed, and that the memories of my entire life eventually got buried, to make it easier for me to function day-to-day, and to retain my emotions and appreciation for people, events, and the moment.
Still within the dream, I flashbacked to the little boy in kindergarten (me), and realized that I was #1 in my elementary classes in real life. So I came back to full circle- another cool retcon showing I was always in control.
Similar Posts:
- Love Scenes: Creator
- 2010-01-24 Dream: Catholic, Islamic, Q10, Crossbay Theater
- Sunday Night Dream #1
- Rock Along Productions brings you Music News
- American Idol Season II
- Shadowfall: Pigeon in Flight, Part I
- The First Enneagram Novel
Vahl says: 
