Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: Britney Spears

Written by: Tony
Edited by: Tony


Plot:

The Soul Patrol easily capture Britney Spears for the Auctioneer's market. Richard Wright continues to contemplate the possibility of going public, and catching up on his celebrity DONE! list. The Auctioneer sells Britney, claiming the "baggage" she brings with her has value.


Creator Comments:

"I love how Britney is so ditzy in this story, and Lufti is such a myopic jerk."


Character Appearances:

Sean
Maria
Sam Lufti
Britney Spears
Rose
Richard Wright
The Auctioneer

Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: Eight Belles and the Birth of the New Justice Crew

Written by: Tony Vahl
Edited by: Tony Vahl


Plot:

Rose, angry about the Kentucky Derby Filly Eight Belles being euthanized on the racetrack, calls for a new Justice Crew to punish those who commit injustices in this world. Eva disagrees, but Sean sides with Rose. Rose pitches the idea to the Auctioneer, who agrees to the idea fairly quickly. He allows rose to borrow some people who have been auctioned off in the past for this mission.

Rose arrives in Kentucky with her team, breaks the ankles of the trainer and veterinarian, and whips the jockey mercilessly.


Creator Comments:

"I personally don't agree with the philosophy espoused in this story -- an eye for an eye makes the world go blind, if you know what I mean. However, Rose has a different view on things, and I can't help but write about it. So there you go.

"So, she's got her own side-project within the Soul Patrol, and that should carry her through while going through regular missions that she hates."


Character Appearances:
Rose
Eva
Sean
Richard Wright
Auctioneer

Chased by Thanos/Boxer Weigh-in

Dreamt I met this guy who could turn into Thanos in the middle of the night. He worked at night. This was in New York or Chicago. Above ground trains.

The guy would turn into him, chase me around. Tear things up. Tear up trains. Almost like the Hulk.

I bet he was after something. He ended up going to jail, on different charges. I called him a couple of months later -- found he was out on parole, and that he hadn't turned into Thanos in awhile. I was happy to hear that. Apparently, he had it under control.

I saw pictures of Thanos at the train stations, the night that I called him.

***

Also dreamt that this boxer was unhappy with his trainer because he bulked him up too much. He wanted to have lean muscles, because he thought he weighed too much. Trainer had some trick to get his muscles lean before the weigh-in. This was in Florida.

Tashman Dream: CEO Fires Byrdman and Christine

Tashman Technologies CEO

The unthinkable had happened.

I was in the Tashman Technologies conference room with CEO, Byrdman, and Christina. CEO delivered the bad news to Byrdman- that due to budget cuts, he had to be let go. Byrdman got red in the face, but he somehow took the news well. I was sitting next to him, and felt his pain on the inside, it was of shock and betrayal, after all CEO and Byrdman truly are best friends.

Byrdman made a comment about the recent death of Bernie, one of our teleporter operators. [In real life, Bernie was a family friend that died last Saturday.] For some reason, Byrdman implied Christina was at fault because Bernie's production was not replaced. So CEO fired Christina, too.

There was shock and tension in the air. My first thought: I could understand CEO firing technical workers, indexers, operators, qualified personnel, or middle management, but to fire two members of his inner circle clique is beyond anything rational. He trusts them with his life.

Moving on, everyone's responsibilities increased, Ramalani and Charlie Brown remained, and Big D was now helping me with client quotes.

I was at a school cafeteria with Charlie Brown, Ramalani, and CEO, eating hot lunch. There were elementary school kids running around. CEO opened a clothes gift box and threw me a pink polo shirt, and said, "Here ya go, kid. I don't want you running off, I'm losing everybody." I just kind of looked at the shirt, and froze. "Well, whatever you need, I'll give you," he assured me. I felt shocked that he finally realized I was valuable.

I was in a Ruby Tuesday's men's restroom when Big D and M & M walked in. Big D was asking me about a quote she just gave, and I knew it was wrong, but she didn't want to hear it. So instead, I humored her. She was telling me she had problems with Excel.

I drove back to work (my mother was in the car) and I was trying to explain to her the events of Byrdman and Christina's shocking dismissal, and how it tied into Bernie's death. [I spent hours going from dream to dream trying to save the answer in my brain, but the truth didn't stay with me when I woke up.]

When I got to the office, Big D was panicking, as usual. CEO also disagreed with her quote, and doubled it. My Excel wasn't working, so Son of Thor came and fixed my network connection. Son of Thor also gave me a dirty look and made a cold comment to me because he didn't know my password to log in my computer, and as IT he looked embarrassed in front of Big D's female customer who was in my office.

In other news, Christina was trying to make a comeback....

Synopsis: Final Moment

Plot:

A story told from three perspectives: first, we meet a blogger named Nick, who rants against typical man against society stories. He believes in Icons, and is concerned that the word spreading of their existence might increase their power.

Second, we see the Realtre, intoxicated with power, floating over New York City. Any feelings directed towards him, be it love or hate, increase his power and allow him to do such things as defy gravity.

Ma Yuan appears out of nowhere and chops the Realtre's head off. The next morning, the Nihilist is standing over the crater where the Realtre's headless body had crashed, and he sees the Realtor crossing the street!

Third, the Dream Seeker discovers that Cindy, Mark, Al, and Chris -- the D&D gamers who accidentally became Ma Yuan -- were killed in a car accident six months ago. The four sitting in Dace's hotel room, when questioned, have jumped forward in time two years.


Creator Comments:

"In recent stories, I had started spelling the Realtor's name with an 're' at the end. Damian thought this was silly, so, instead of going back and getting rid of the name, I decided to make a story of it and have the Realtre killed off."


Characters:

The Realtre (final appearance)
The Realtor
The Nihilist
The Dream Seeker
The Traveller
Cindy
Mark
Al
Chris
Ma Yuan


Trivia:

The concept of two Realtors controlled by one mind was partially inspired by Dr. Doom and his Doombots.

The concept of the Realtre floating above the ground was partially inspired by The Office and Second Life.

Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: The Rocket

Written by: Tony Vahl
Edited by: Tony Vahl and Damian Hospital


Plot

The Rocket is officially stamped DONE! by Richard Wright. After discussing the situation with the Auctioneer, Richard sends out Eva, Rose, and Sean to go out and capture the seven-time Cy Young winner.

After a relatively simple take-down involving Eva playing a masseuse, the Rocket is "Debriefed" by the Auctioneer and put up for bid in Dallas, Texas.


Creators' Comments

Tony: "It was time. Damian and I have joked about the Soul Patrol taking down famous celebrities who had clearly lost 'It,' or jumped the shark permanently. After reading about Clemens developing a friendship with Mindy McCready when she was 15-years-old, I realized that he was the perfect fodder for the first Celebrity Soul Patrol story!"


Memorable Quotes

"No you're not." -- Roger Clemens

"What about the internet? Our takedown won't be buried on the newsgroups anymore." -- Richard Wright

"This man's future is in your control. Do you want him to pitch again? No problem! Would you like to embarrass ole' Roger? It can be arranged!" -- The Auctioneer


Character Appearances

Richard Wright
The Auctioneer
Roger "The Rocket" Clemens
Eva Reichensteiner
Rose
Sean Brown

Screw

I was in a factory building these long screws ... maybe they were anchors for construction use.

Anyway, I just remember getting tired of twisting the metal in order to create the grooves on the screw. It was a very monotonous, manual-intensive job.