Sacrilegious Cover? Dream Seeker Return of Joshua

We recently received a submission from Angel Jimenez where he ranted against the book Return of Joshua, the second Dream Seeker book and first Enneagram novel. Instead of printing his actual comments, which crossed the line even for us, we decided to respond ... just in case anyone else has been turned off by the cover.



First of all, not to give the story away ... but that is not the REAL Jesus Christ's hand on the cover. It's an ACTOR. In the beginning chapters, we see the greatest hoax in the history of world perpetrated on mankind! That cover depicts the ACTOR relaxing after a performance.

Second, the artist R.G. is not a bad person for painting such a cover. He was commissioned, and I think his work speak for itself. He is on our short list of artists for future Dream Seeker novel covers.

Third, you should NOT judge this book by its cover.

Fourth, Tony and Damian BOTH worked on the concept for the cover. They both approved of it, and there are zero regrets about it.

Dream: Spike Lee Museum Curator

Dreamt that Spike Lee had to make a decision about going to Hollywood or staying in New York to become a museum curator. I bought him this huge venetian red briefcase with compartments that even had room for a second small briefcase. A bunc of people sat at this long table at the museum, joking and laughing with him. Spike was troubled.

Peter Potter, the Spectacular Spider-Magician

My daughter lately has been saying Peter Potter when referring to the Harry Potter character. I know she's confusing Harry with another character she likes: Peter Parker.

Anyway, I had a waking dream about the topic. It went something like this:

Bitten by a magical spider, unassuming Peter Potter became the Amazing Spider-Magician, able to cast spells at will while spinning webs to trap opponents, or swinging out of danger.

Neil Gaiman and Stan Lee decided to sue the creator of the Peter Potter stories for copyright infringement. J.K. Rowling, sunbathing in the South of France, laughed her fool head off at the absurdity.

Female Godzilla

In an experiment gone horribly wrong, a baby Godzilla egg was taken from her mother, and she found out. The momma Godzilla had a really long tail, and was quick -- like a small lizard or cat. Her facial features were softer and rounder than her male counterpart.

The egg was laid on the shore banks of possibly the Ohio River, near a small coastal city in Kentucky. Anyway, she tore up the small coastal city. The army couldn't slow her down.

The male lead from movie Twister was at home with some friends -- he heard the rumbling in the distance and ordered everyone into the basement. There were two furnished rooms down there -- he ordered everyone into the closet or bathroom to hide. He attempted to call his wife -- the female lead from Twister. At first, no calls were getting through -- he sent a text message, and she showed up upstairs. He had to climb a ladder to get back up to the first floor.

The lead male and female from Twister showed up to try and set some explosives, but momma Godzilla figured out their plan before they could execute it. They had to run for their lives while momma G. tossed the tanker sized bombs in their direction.

High above in helicopter, a General played by the actor who played Mr. Jefferson on the sitcom The Jeffersons laughed and threw golden wrapped chocolate coins at the monster for good luck.

Brasil and Washed Up Celebrity

We went to Brasilia to visit family. I spoke with my nephew, and asked him if a drive to Rio was possible -- I wanted to see where my father grew up. He told me it was a two hour drive. We decided to rent a car and go.

Later on, I dreamt about a washed up baseball player who looked like Wilem Dafoe except lamer and taller. He had starred in a couple of Hollywood movies after retirement before destroying his life and looks with drugs, alcohol, and gambling.

He was giving a speech at a charity dinner, explaining the mistakes he made. I sat in the audience, and didn't even know who he was until he started recounting his story. His face had sagged and hair was unkept.

Synopsis -- Dream Slayer: Dreams of Gwen Stefani

written by: Tony Vahl
Edited by: Tony Vahl


Plot:

The Dream Slayer, a.k.a. Ecad Tiones sold a "horny s.o.b." a custom Dream Slayer package for $1,500. Afterwards, Ecad tried to contact Gwen Stefani, who was in town for a concert.


Creator Comments:

"I love writing and narrating Dream Slayer stories. There are no rules with this character, and there's a sense that he knows he's in a story ... it reminds me of that great Looney Toons cartoon, where Daffy Duck is yelling at the cartoonist."


Character Appearances:
Dream Slayer
Nameless male caller
Gwen Stefani

CAPTAIN FASCIST

Had a pretty quirky dream the other night.

I was in a giant bed in a casual classroom environment with mostly girls from high school and obscure former Tashman Technologies employees.

We were watching an old audio/video educational program (black VCR with a lot of wires). I was content.

Then all of a sudden, CAPTAIN FASCIST opens the door and (really) says,

"This dream is being interrupted by...CAPTAIN FASCIST!"

He stood in front of the TV, and was blocking everyone. I was amused by his audacity, but focused on the TV. He had index cards are was trying to give a speech without looking at them, but he was noticeably stumbling over his words.

He wasn't showing his embarrassment, and kept speaking very quickly. He told the girls to "clear out the room, let's get going".

I gently put the blanket over my head, showing my displeasure. I didn't want to hear his speech, and told him as much:

"Captain, whatever you're selling, I'm NOT buying. So just go ahead, but it doesn't matter to me."

We were speaking over each other's words, and didn't hear each other. He kept on selling and selling.

"You're like ARI from ENTOURAGE!" I yelled.

"Who's Air-Eye?" he lied.
************

I feel this dream was PROOF that I am really in control of every aspect of my dream. For example, I personally can't remember telephone numbers, and I can't read or write in dreams, and definitely can't memorize things. Captain Fascist not being able to recite his speech or read the index cards? That was me, folks. I was Captain Fascist, the girls, the TV, the bed, the space in-between the second hand on the clock...I was everywhere...kind of like the Matrix, or when Thanos had the Infinity Gauntlet. The bottom line is that when Captain F. stuttered and forgot his lines, I finally saw the 1's and 0's of the dream sequence...the truth being that I was manipulating the whole thing...all the time. I create my own dreams, and the actors and events in my dreams are orchestrated by me. The Captain's mask fell off, sort to speak. Ah-ha! Gotcha!

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Paperwork Police

I dreamt I was a detective, investigating a flight attendant who was suspected of stealing debit cards. After visiting with her at her home, I felt I had collected the information I needed to arrest her.

When I got to my cubicle, I was having trouble playing MP3's on my work computer. Somehow, my home desktop appeared, and connected it to my work computer. I was also viewing video from ATM machines, but it wouldn't play back unless I had my home desktop hooked up to my work computer.

It appeared that I was running Linux on my work computer, and Windows on my home PC.

There was a ton of paperwork that had to be completed prior to the arrested, and my work computer continued to act funny. My supervisor kept pushing me to get it done by 5pm. The arrest would take place shortly after.

I wanted to use my personal computer to type up my report, but was not allowed to.

I was overwhelmed. I began to wonder if the powers-that-be really wanted me to arrest the flight attendant or not.

Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: Britney Spears

Written by: Tony
Edited by: Tony


Plot:

The Soul Patrol easily capture Britney Spears for the Auctioneer's market. Richard Wright continues to contemplate the possibility of going public, and catching up on his celebrity DONE! list. The Auctioneer sells Britney, claiming the "baggage" she brings with her has value.


Creator Comments:

"I love how Britney is so ditzy in this story, and Lufti is such a myopic jerk."


Character Appearances:

Sean
Maria
Sam Lufti
Britney Spears
Rose
Richard Wright
The Auctioneer

Synopsis -- Celebrity Soul Patrol: Eight Belles and the Birth of the New Justice Crew

Written by: Tony Vahl
Edited by: Tony Vahl


Plot:

Rose, angry about the Kentucky Derby Filly Eight Belles being euthanized on the racetrack, calls for a new Justice Crew to punish those who commit injustices in this world. Eva disagrees, but Sean sides with Rose. Rose pitches the idea to the Auctioneer, who agrees to the idea fairly quickly. He allows rose to borrow some people who have been auctioned off in the past for this mission.

Rose arrives in Kentucky with her team, breaks the ankles of the trainer and veterinarian, and whips the jockey mercilessly.


Creator Comments:

"I personally don't agree with the philosophy espoused in this story -- an eye for an eye makes the world go blind, if you know what I mean. However, Rose has a different view on things, and I can't help but write about it. So there you go.

"So, she's got her own side-project within the Soul Patrol, and that should carry her through while going through regular missions that she hates."


Character Appearances:
Rose
Eva
Sean
Richard Wright
Auctioneer

Chased by Thanos/Boxer Weigh-in

Dreamt I met this guy who could turn into Thanos in the middle of the night. He worked at night. This was in New York or Chicago. Above ground trains.

The guy would turn into him, chase me around. Tear things up. Tear up trains. Almost like the Hulk.

I bet he was after something. He ended up going to jail, on different charges. I called him a couple of months later -- found he was out on parole, and that he hadn't turned into Thanos in awhile. I was happy to hear that. Apparently, he had it under control.

I saw pictures of Thanos at the train stations, the night that I called him.

***

Also dreamt that this boxer was unhappy with his trainer because he bulked him up too much. He wanted to have lean muscles, because he thought he weighed too much. Trainer had some trick to get his muscles lean before the weigh-in. This was in Florida.